Top 4 Key Areas To Develop Yourself Before Thinking Of Marriage!
Areas To Develop Yourself Before Marriage
This post is for single and unmarried people who are yet to marry and hoping to get married. If you are in this category, this post is for you. Marriage is a very important subject, both by spiritual and moral standards. The reality is that most people develop themselves for everything except marriage. Dr Kingsley Okonkwo, who is a renowned marriage counsellor and relationship coach, said, “Marriage is the most important course that is rarely studied; , has a matriculation date but no graduation date.”
I concur with the above statement because people spend years doing degrees, masters, postgraduate courses, and tech skills but hardly read a book on marriage. And this is the greatest undoing of this generation: assuming that marriage is easy and it will always work out well. Even though the desire of God is that you have a great marriage, the onus is on you to develop yourself in key areas.
What are the areas to develop myself before marriage?
- SPIRITUAL MATURITY AND DEVELOPMENT
Spiritual maturity is number one on this page because marriage in itself is orchestrated by the spiritual God-head. The essence of spirituality is also formed on the premise of the saying that what controls the physical is the spiritual. When we talk of spiritual maturity, we talk of the following:
-The fear of God.
-Love for God and intimacy with God.
-Love For The Word.
-Hatred For Sin.
-Love for people.
-Love for Kingdom service.
One key area to develop yourself self is the fear of God. Anyone who cannot fear God cannot respect you. If no man can come under the authority Of God, he would never submit to God. The fear of the Lord is simply defined in the book of Job as a hating veil. If you have a partner who doesn’t care about your walk with God, he or she is drawing you to a place of spiritual oblivion where you will be lost in the crowd. The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. Before you start the journey of marriage, stock up on your fear of God. And the more you fear God, the more you make sound decisions.
If you are in a relationship and your partner tells you to come and have s*x in his place, as a believer, you know that you are with someone who has not built strength in the area of the fear of the lord.
Also Read, How to know when a guy has a crush on you.
Areas To Develop Myself Before Marriage?
The man who fears God won’t have issues loving his wife and vice versa. Building spiritual maturity comes by staying and chewing the word of God daily. Acts 20:32 says i commend you to God and to the word of his grace which is able to build you up… So the love for the word builds us up in the spirit, and that build up enables us to fear and love God which in turn builds up our spirituality.
The fear of God is also demonstrated in the level of hatred for sin. if you find it easy to sin, don’t jump into marriage . The reason is you are a time bomb and can pull your man or woman down if they intend to flee from sin and iniquity.
One essence of spiritual development is to be able to set boundaries for yourself. Finally as i wrap up on this point relating to spirituality, you can develop spiritually by serving in a unit with passion and stringent commitment.
- FINANCIAL PRUDENCE AND INTEGRITY
One major challenge that causes issues in marriage today is the problem of finance. in a recent study it was revealed that financial issues are the major causes of divorce and separation. This statistics also included some Christian couples. Finance is a major lubricant for Romance. Therefore nothing happens by mistake, You have to be intentional about money before you go into marriage. If you are not, you may end up in marital chaos. Your views on finance must be well nurtured and groomed, if not there could be crisis in your family. This portion of this post talks about financial prudence and integrity. Financial prudence is been wise with money.
How to handle money, knowing when to invest, avoiding careless spending and all that. Financial integrity in the Christiaan way means being able to be very transparent responsible, accountable and cleanness in your dealings with money.
If these characteristics are not domiciled in you especially as a man, your wife will not trust you, and when there is distrust in finance withing the spheres of marriage, im mo distant time the marriage may collapse.
- EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE /BALANCE
This key point is very important in the cause of advancing towards the thing called ‘MARRIAGE’ The basic fuel of the human love hormones and general anatomy is regulated based on EMOTIONS.
Even if you are a Christian, no matter how spiritual the bible said you should be, you must be able to display emotions and emotional intelligence when needed. Most people especially men see displaying of emotions as a form of weakness. I tell you in this post that that’s a blatant lie based on egoistic sentiments.
Jesus made it clear in Heb 4 vs 15-16 that For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.
As we see in the above scripture, Jesus is always touched by the feelings of our infirmities. Infirmities there simply mean weaknesses. If Jesus can be touched, Why would a man or a woman not be touched by their spouses??
What is Emotional Intelligence?
The capacity to control both your own emotions and those of those around you is known as emotional intelligence (EI).
I like to inform you that absence or lack of emotional intelligence has led to divorce and separation in many homes. Note that when there is a high level emotional intelligence, there is affection, empathy and Love, Therefore in other to gain command of your home at all times you must know how to use emotions, and manage them.
There is a thin line between been emotional and be foolish. Some people become too emotional and get things messed up. This is not the dimension of being emotional i am talking about.
I am talking about a balanced emotional intelligence, that is knowing when to be logical, and knowing when to be either emotional or spiritual
- BUILD SOCIAL CAPITAL
This cannot be overemphasized. Social capital talks about your leverage in life and destiny based on the relationships you are able to make and sustain. The truth is many people feel that all they need in life are their spouses and partners. We must recognize that in life, people matter a lot, and you don’t know when you will need them.
To go into marriage, learn to build good interpersonal relationships with people. Sometimes the person you don’t want to greet is the person in key position to give your wife or husband a recommendation. Money is good, but having men by your side is better. in choosing the right association, you also need the Holy Spirit, because human beings can be very funny. Go ahead and build social capital, build solid connections because your children will need them as they grow.
Dear Reader, Nothing is really cast in stone but we have carefully compiled this post based on top research data. and I believe if you pay keen concentration to this post you will be blessed……
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